My depression won't go away. I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia when I was 18. Now that I'm 25 I'm doing a whole lot better. But of course I do have my up and downs. I feel like I'm worthless. No one in my family has any faith in me. It may be because I have let them down so many times. I don't know.

I hate myself. I still live at home. I'm only just recently gaining a social life. I can't support myself on my own simply because I don't make enough money to do it. I hate being on SSI. I feel like I'm stealing from the tax payers and I don't like it. I've decided that I'm going to get a job but my Mom doesn't focus on all of the positive aspects of it, instead all she can think about and talk about are the bad things, the negative things which is weird because she is one of the most positive people I know.

I want to be able to move out and live on my own. I want to find that special someone, get married and have a million kids (okay, maybe not that many lol). But, if I stay on SSI that is never going to happen. And even though I have brought this to my Mom's attention several times, I don't think she sees it.

I feel like she is holding me back and I don't think she even realizes it. And all of this has me feeling like I'm trapped.

There are of load of other things that are going through my life at the moment. Things that I doubt I'm going to go over on this forum that has be waid down. I'm sad. I’m scared. I don't know where I” m going to be in six months. Any advice would be wonderful. Thank all of you for taking the time to read this.