I'm like you so I can indeed see both sides of the coin....

On the one side....

It IS hard when friends don't respond! I get anxious. I think the worst. Then again, I have abandonment issues, so my mind goes to the worst possible scenario. I'm working on letting go and its getting better, but its an ongoing issue. I think that it would help you to reframe things in your mind. Have you ever done any CBT? If not, it helps to reframe your thoughts. Instead of going to "worst case scenario" and taking things personally, you could reframe it and think that perhaps the person is really busy and unable to reply right now, but it doesn't mean that he/she cares about you any less. For example, I belong to a pen-pal site (old school, right?) and I oftentimes check my messages from my phone, but I rarely reply from my phone b/c its a PITA to write long messages on a phone, right? But nevertheless, people get irritated when they see that I've read a message and haven't replied. So maybe your friend was reading on the run? Maybe she didn't have time to reply right away? Maybe she was in the middle of something else and thought that it was important to check her messages, but she couldn't reply that instant. Lots of different things could have happened. But it does help to try and reframe things in your mind.

On the other side....

Your "friends" may be shytty. Yeah. (How old are you? Just curious.) Ok, so childhood friends.... I know its great to hear others yammer on about how they've had a best friend since the second grade and they're thick as thieves even though they're now middle aged (or older) but honestly this is the exception rather than the rule. Most people pick their friends in childhood simply because they sat next to each other on the first day of school or the person lived next door. There isn't a whole lot of thought that goes into it! As you grow into being an adult, most people change and grow apart from one another. Its just sort of a fact of life. I'm not trying to be harsh, rather this has happened to me and I've seen it happen to others. It is hard to grow apart from childhood friends, but when it happens, we sort of need to accept it and move forward.

And online friends... Facebook! Ugh! People are notorious for finding "friends" on there when they're.....bored.....and then when life picks up, they drop their online friends like a hot potato. I gave up on Facebook. I've tried to reach out to people and they've been non-responsive. I've had other online friends who stop messaging when they suddenly have other (better) things to do. I don't call that friendship. Yeah, I know that people need to be free to live their own lives, but at the same time, if a friend is ignoring you (for an extended period of time), is that person really a friend? Maybe this sounds harsh, but given my disorder (PTSD), I am prone to shut-downs. I've learned that when I shut down, I OWE it to people to let them know I'm not doing well. I mean how hard is it to text those few words? I honestly think that if I can't do the very basics, then I'm not strong enough to even have friends because its NOT fair to leave other people hanging like that.

Don't get me wrong. I have different levels of friendship. I don't owe it to everyone to let them know I'm not doing well. But, if there is someone I'm in regular contact with, then YES, I DO owe them that at the very least. By this way of thinking, if someone is busy, dealing with other life crap.....then most of the time they do need to let you know. Otherwise it can be seen as a sign that you need to step back from the relationship as that person is not very invested. However, there will be times when life throws a huuuge curve ball. (This doesn't happen that often IMHO, but people freak out at the smallest things, turning everything into drama...so they *think* that any minor life bump gives them an excuse to go about their own selfish ways and drop others willy-nilly.) Like I said, I sound harsh, but I rather have fewer decent friends than people who are going to be fair-weathered or only want to talk to me when they are bored or need me to pick them up.