Quote:
Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey
Your original post does indeed come across as very controlling.
I stand by what I've said. I've given you my perspective. I wasn't lambasting you, rather that is your spin on what I've said. (Try not to input your own tone, ok?)
You don't understand that controlling someone's major in college IS indeed controlling their entire future. "oh, honey, don't study biology even though you want to go to med school". See where I'm going with this?
I don't understand why you can't just simply say to her "Sweetie, you know I want to support you in everything that you do, but I am concerned about the amount of debt you'll be taking on". I guess if it really is indeed as simple as you're stating, why can't you say these....26 words. Shouldn't this sort of thing come naturally? I guess I just don't get it? Why are you trying to complicate things when it really is that simple? Maybe you're over thinking it all. Maybe she's a raging nut case who flies off the handle and you didn't tell us this part and you're actually asking for how to treat her with kid gloves. Really, I have no idea.
|
You realize you made the point that if you hadn't got your debt forgiven you would've likely killed yourself, right? That the only way you were able to get it paid off is by becoming disabled? I don't want her in the position where she's considering killing herself over debt she racked up in courses she didn't like, or have her hoping she can find a disability that will wipe out her debt. I care about her and I'm invested in her future and for you to say I'm controlling her pushed my buttons because it's nowhere near the truth.
I stood by her when she switched the first time, but I'm apprehensive about her doing it again FOR HER OWN WELL BEING. Not everything is about men controlling women, surprise surprise, sometimes we're just trying to look out for you and I'd expect her to do the same for me.
If you're going to grandstand and scold me for being "controlling" then I'm going to respond in kind. For the record no she's not a "raging nut", she's very sensitive and struggles with a host of psychological issues. I was indeed looking for ways to talk to her about it, and received some very good advice, but being accused of being a "controlling man" is a step too far. I love her and maybe I'm a bit overprotective because the world hasn't been kind to her and I want her to avoid future trauma and troubles.