Quote:
Originally Posted by 12PM
Hi X123, if you don’t mind, may I ask what is your diagnosis? Maybe I can give a better opinion if I know what your diagnosis is. But in general, I think every breakdown makes us feel worse (and yes, me too). We got overwhelmed by it and making our self as good as we are before the breakdown is a really tough job. As far as I can see from your story, I can tell that you can handle your bad thoughts quite well. By this I mean, even though you have a negative thoughts you still can use your logic, proven by your ability to dismiss them (even if they keep coming back after you dismiss them). You don’t believe them just like that. I adore that you always think outside the box, because in my opinion, it resembles creativity, and when you are creative, you can find many ways to help yourself. Weird ideas bother me as well anytime I get depressed and don’t have enough sleep. I am sorry if I can’t help much, I hope you feel better soon.
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I don't think anybody has diagnosed me. I didn't get any psychological help when I had the breakdown, but several years later I described the problem to a therapist. She thought it sounded a little bit like a mild form of delusional disorder. I researched a little and the closest I could find was "brief reactive psychosis". There were lots of hallucinations and delusions, but they mostly lasted for only two weeks and dwindled. But I continued to have sporadic hallucinations for several years. Now my problem seems to be mostly magical thinking. Sometimes I think people on the internet are clairvoyant or casting spells to drain my energy in the morning and other weird things. I hate those thoughts, but they keep coming back.
This breakdown was in 2009, and I'm still not back to normal. I used to think that I had fully recovered psychologically and was simply struggling with the memories. Lately I've been wondering if these magical thoughts indicate a continuing problem. I don't remember having thoughts like that before I had the breakdown.