Long story short (ish). In the early 90's I was first dx'd with bipolar. I was in my early teens. Once I went to college I went off meds and thrived, even got a big deal job. Then I epically manically crashed and got fired. Spiraled into depression, started dating a guy, had my first son then the psychosis really hit. Had my first inpatient admis soon and a full cocktail of meds. I do also have ptsd.

To say I was overmedicated is an understatement but the docs just kept upping or changing antidepressants and changing antipaychotics. I was a vegetable. My sons father and I agreed our son should live full time with him. Heartbreaking. Th me changes went on for a few more years until 09 when I met my husband while I was living in a long term respite, he lived elsewhere. He couldn't belive what "they" were doing to me. He got me out of there and off meds. I was thriving again.

Things were great, I got pregnant again, pregnancy and the first 2 years went well but our chaotic wife beater coke addict neighbor who we share al wall with triggerd me. I did something rash and ended up in icu then the psych unit back on meds.

Again over medicated. My outpatient prescriber was giving me so many meds and didn't realive I had a encephalopathy from the reach decision I made plus intibation. Her mismanagement of my case led me to leave her and meds

I have many anti psychiatry friends. Recently my symptoms got bad again. I have a good doc I met with 3 times before accepting a precrption. I do take neurological meds already but she added Risperdal at a low dose and told.me to call asap if I don't feel right. I can already tell it's working. I'm sleeping, coherent, less "manically depressive"

Still I feel like a failure and would like some of the anti psych people to talk less and listen more. I totally understand the horrors of incompetent docs and over medication and using the wrong meds. But my fear kept me from finding a good doc.