This is my first post here..for as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with anxiety issues, and lately I’ve been feeling sadder and sadder. I just feel like I shouldn’t be around, and that I don’t want to be here anymore, but at the same time, I don’t want to die.

I’ve hurt so, so many people in my life and I just can’t forgive myself for that, I feel like I won’t ever deserve to be loved or married (which is an ultimate dream for me). I don’t really have anyone I feel comfortable talking to, I always think I’m bothering my friends, and lots of my family don’t understand mental illness.

Lately I’ve just been feeling so depressed, and I cry and get upset over little things. I never want to go out anywhere, and I just want to be alone mostly, but at the same time, I get so lonely.

My life is just one big complicated mess, I’m such an awkward person who comes across rude because I don’t know how to interact with others.

I’m sorry for such a lengthy, sudden post, but I just needed to get a few things off my chest.