I, too was an all or nothing.

I was diagnosed with depression many years ago, but never took any action other than being on meds. And, after awhile, I started drinking - which I later discovered was actually just a way to self-medicate. I didn't start as a binge drinker, but my drinking quickly escalated to that point. My binges went from just weekends to every night occurrences. And money that I should have spent on necessities in life got spent on buying more wine.

My family (thankfully)! did an intervention on me. It worked because I was ready to get help. I was slowly killing myself with the damage the alcohol was doing to my body. So, I'm glad to hear you have an opportunity for partial hospitalization. If YOU really want to get help and become willing to put everything into working on changing your choices, the opportunity for a happier and healthier life awaits you. Realizing and being aware of the binge drinking and using are great first steps.

Also, I have a son with BP. He is currently in treatment (again). This time, he really wants to be clean and sober. His drinking and using completely destroyed any good effects of his BP meds. He started making really bad choices that now have legal ramifications. Now at 4 months clean and sober he is on completely different meds for his BP and I can see the wonderful person he really is for the first time in over a decade.

I wish the best for you!