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Ghaugh38, it's abuse, plain and simple. My T used to tell me it didn't make any difference why my hubby was abusive, the the behavior was just unacceptable. It took me a long time to figure out that I wanted to know the reason because then it could be "fixed." It took even longer for me to come around to thinking the same as my T. It's up to the abuser to change and "fix" whatever needs fixing.
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