Just saw this thread and am wondering too. I hope you are getting help.

The place you describe is quite familiar, yes, and I was recently debating the very same thing, especially Thursday. It can be a hard call to make. Some people say that if you are wondering if you should go to the hospital, then you should. (I personally don't do that for a few reasons, among which are stubbornness and stupidity, so I'm not a good frame of reference. ).

Shawkat makes a very good point. Impulsivity can be a big problem. It deserves a place in your decision-making. Impulsivity is a REALLY big issue if you are agitated. If those are both going on, that is a very dangerous combination and you should go to the hospital.

If you still aren't sure, at the very minimum, go somewhere safe. Maybe it is a friend or relative's. Get rid of any problematic/tempting items (if it is meds, hand them over to someone trusted). Do not go anywhere you might feel an unhealthy draw to go to.

Really make a point to NOT be alone in times of crisis, even if that is what your mind suggests. It's not exactly trustworthy in times of crisis.

Please keep us posted. In the meanwhile, sending good thoughts your way.