I swing between crying and wanting to call and beg please please don't leave me and then being rational and knowing a T who would abandon me during a very stressful time is not really a T I want and is unhelpful to say the least.

Then there is the part of me that feels overwhelming relief. I get left by people frequently, I was so stressed at times about when he would leave me. I *knew* he would and now he has I feel like I don't need to worry anymore or figure out trust or even work on my issues because I'm validated as right. People always leave.