Hi Psyclox, I don't do AA either...its a tough and lonely road to go down. I have really had to work at creating my own "program." One thing that has been vital is that I have a couple people in my life that have been extremely supportive and understand what I am going through. One, who does not go to AA, kinda acted like a sponsor to me. Therapy was also an important component. Let me know if you ever want to chat.