"Kids, I never want them, I like them, but I don't want them. After what my ex did to me for 2 years abusing me a lot and wanting to drive a wedge between me and my child before she aborted her and how she was going to make me pay for child support at 18 and treat her like **** and she get away with it making up insane stories while stalking me about how bad of a person I am when my friends and her former friends knew I didn't do anything wrong and she should of stopped treating me her dad and the people who care about her like crap and that. If she got full custody of our daughter, she'd treat her so badly, in a neglectful way, and the fact I don't like how she would bring random crazy dudes who beat up on her after we dated and who knows if my child was born and was forced to deal with getting physically harmed by someone else and I can't do anything about it. NO never again I'm going to deal with that painful experience and I'm not going to have a child in anytime ever in the future, because it hurts that much from the last time. "

It sounds like you've gone through something very heavy here.