I have often wondered about narcissism being an issue for me, because both my parents were/are narcissistic. I have asked a clinical psychologist about whether I am or not, and he disagreed. In his and my view, I have inherited some traits by default from my profoundly dysfunctional parents and I also have a tendency to wack myself over the head with whatever is handy, also thanks to my dysfunctional parents. In other words, I tend to beat myself up and feel like there is something terribly wrong with me, and believing I was a narcissist seems to fulfill that wish, because it's something I would never want to be. I have been diagnosed with avoidant traits, which is where the believing something is terribly wrong with me comes in.

I too avoid friendships but mainly because it is just too stressful. I get so anxious in social situations that it's just easier to be alone. I am so anxious about what others think about me, which I guess could be a narcissistic trait.

I think self diagnosis is a slippery slope. Don't look for labels that may not fit, leave that to the experts. And always remember that nothing is static, people change and evolve over time. I know that I have much more insight and self-acceptance now at 45 than I've ever had. I just accept that there are some things that are hard for me, and work around them.