{{{{{{{{{{{{{Wants2}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} My testimony is in my story. I'm certainly NOT in love with this man. Never could be. But I do care what happens to him, I do care that he may or may not be truthful to me, I don't leave him alone in my house, I'm uneasy going outside especially after dark when he's in the park, my doors are always locked and for sure, my guard is way up when he gives me a hug, but there remains the fact that if he disappears without me knowing where he went, I worry. I worry that something bad will happen to him. I worry that he'll buy drugs instead of taking care of himself. I could worry about all manner of things, but I can't afford to allow myself to do that. There's no way I could ever have a close relationship with him because aside from the fact that my heart it not my own to give, I couldn't live with someone I don't trust.

But on the other hand, I "trust" my husband and I can live with him. I "trust" him to be thoughtless, self-centered, lazy, and a few other unpleasant things. I call it Acceptance. In other words, he can't be trusted to show me that he cares for me in any way except to bring me his cornbread from his Boston Market meal every night. He likes cornbread! But something has made it a ritual for him to bring it home for ME. Does it make up for the other things? No, it sure doesn't, but it's a sweet moment we share every night that he works.

Wants2, never expect perfection because you won't find it. The secret is in being able to live with or to accept the strange quirks in the other person. For me, I can't have a relationship with anyone else, women included, if they LIE or if they are DISLOYAL. I would venture to guess that it's different with other people. Their priorities may be different than mine.

You can love again if you will allow yourself.