(((((((((((((((((((((Christina))))))))))))))) ... hon
I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling all those intense things. I really am. Is there anything that i can do? Because you know that i'm here.
While it was probably very painful to acknowledge all those feelings, i'm really glad you did. Sometimes even just writing things down helps a little bit in expressing yourself. Keep doing that ... expressing how you are feeling (in a healthy way of course). Don't keep it bottled in ... we all know where that can lead to.
Fight the urges and look into yourself and see all the good qualities that are there.
Don't know if you're a huge fan (or nerd for that matter)like me, but whenever i'm sad a little bit of the Sound Of Music always manages to cheer me up.
Please try and stay safe ...