I didn't feel they were out to get me. From 2000 until now is a long time to not be seeing a doctor. It would be better to have an on-going relationship with a doctor willing to advocate for you. What you must be mindful of with the pdoc that SSA sends you to is that this doctor will know next to nothing about you. You'll have about an hour to communicate your disability to this doctor. Start now making a list of the ways your disability gets in the way of you working. Start jotting down notes. Then review them before your doctor's appointment and bring them with you, in case your mind goes blank.