Hello there. How’re you all doing today? Good, I hope.

I’m getting sick and tired of this Paranoia of mine. I just had a huge episode tonight and I really am fed up with it. I hate being scared, I hate having to check everything all the time. I just want to know what this is. If these are symptoms of a disorder, I need to know what it is. At least to bring some closure. Some kind of answer is better than anything, so I have something to go off of. Perhaps posting my last Paranoia-based post in the Anxiety section was a bad idea. Because maybe it isn’t even related to my Anxiety?

Here are some of the things I do.

- - Fear of intruders entering the house that is present throughout the day and night.
- - Hides knives in the rooms for self defense.
- - Checks the doors and windows every night to make sure they’re locked tightly. Checks almost every night for intruders in every room.
- - Constant state of fear that ruins things that I enjoy.
- - Covers webcams and things that might be used to listen in or watch me.
- - Still afraid even after the situation has been figured out.
- - On rare occasions I have hostile thoughts about the people I live with.
- - Kinda-rare feelings of Dissociation.
- - I lie a lot. (Usually for other people’s sake.)
- - Some Obsessive Compulsive tendencies. (The way I chew food and climb up and down stairs.)
- - Social Anxiety. (I’m socially isolated, I overly dizzy and have an overwhelming sense of fear when I talk to others, they tire me out easily.)
- - Depression. (I have no energy, I’m very empty and irritated a lot of the time, I have bad depressive episodes.)

If anything, and I mean anything, falls under some of these symptoms; please let me know.

Thank you so much for reading and have a wonderful day.