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Originally Posted by BlossomingLen
Hello there. How’re you all doing today? Good, I hope.
I’m getting sick and tired of this Paranoia of mine. I just had a huge episode tonight and I really am fed up with it. I hate being scared, I hate having to check everything all the time. I just want to know what this is. If these are symptoms of a disorder, I need to know what it is. At least to bring some closure. Some kind of answer is better than anything, so I have something to go off of. Perhaps posting my last Paranoia-based post in the Anxiety section was a bad idea. Because maybe it isn’t even related to my Anxiety?
Here are some of the things I do.
- - Fear of intruders entering the house that is present throughout the day and night.
- - Hides knives in the rooms for self defense.
- - Checks the doors and windows every night to make sure they’re locked tightly. Checks almost every night for intruders in every room.
- - Constant state of fear that ruins things that I enjoy.
- - Covers webcams and things that might be used to listen in or watch me.
- - Still afraid even after the situation has been figured out.
- - On rare occasions I have hostile thoughts about the people I live with.
- - Kinda-rare feelings of Dissociation.
- - I lie a lot. (Usually for other people’s sake.)
- - Some Obsessive Compulsive tendencies. (The way I chew food and climb up and down stairs.)
- - Social Anxiety. (I’m socially isolated, I overly dizzy and have an overwhelming sense of fear when I talk to others, they tire me out easily.)
- - Depression. (I have no energy, I’m very empty and irritated a lot of the time, I have bad depressive episodes.)
If anything, and I mean anything, falls under some of these symptoms; please let me know.
Thank you so much for reading and have a wonderful day.
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There are several "diagnoses" that come to mind but you Really need to talk to a professional (& try for one that doesn't immediately go to medication as treatment, you are young, and you are aware of the problems, there are many things that, with support, you can work on to change this...there may be a role for meds but not immediately)---Each person is unique, and your experiences, and more importantly your perception of...may give some practical places to begin. (also, does anyone else in your family have, or have a history of this kind of anxiety/fear...?)---- If you have a primary care provider (MD/APRN/other) that you trust, you may want to start by making an appointment with that person to discuss this (write it down first if that helps to just give to the person to read, maybe even ahead of the appt.) as they are able to refer you to resources that may help.
I went through something similar when I was young....without good intervention at the time...I know my life could have been much better in many ways had I been able to talk to someone (I did a lot of research, but when I was young, a long time ago, little was out there that was helpful in a practical way)
Let us know how it goes! And you will find plenty of folks here who can relate, and tell you what helped them. But, again, it is important to have that support in your daily life.
