Has anyone else experienced thoughts of hurting other people?

When I was 12, I kept a diary and often wrote of the thoughts and expressed my guilt and shame that surrounded them. They've gotten better over the years, but I have developed more BD symptoms in their absence.

I remember having a thought of punching my mother and asking her if she were okay, her saying no, and then saying, "Well, now you're not." My mother read the entry with this and automatically assumed I WANTED to do that to her.

It dawned on me last night that having these thoughts goes hand in hand with the aggressiveness I experience when I'm manic, and even though I have BD II (hypomanic), many times I experience dysphoric mania, which would make sense with these thoughts.

My question is, though, just because someone has thoughts, it doesn't mean they want to do what they're thinking, right?

I can be aggressive and destructive if triggered. And still have "bad" thoughts of hurting people and myself. I've been in one fight, provoked, and another in self defense. Maybe they aren't applicable justifications for my actions mostly due to my diagnoses, to some. Like my mother. But I wish my mother hadn't made me feel even guiltier for these thoughts, because I honestly feel they cannot be controlled. Or at least at that time when she was being abusive. I have yet to recognize every trigger. But the majors ones I know.

Hopefully I'm not alone in this?