I am a parent of an addict. I spent many, many years and a lot of money trying to help him. In the end, I came to understand that I couldn't "fix" him and had to learn how to take care of myself. I was an emotional wreck and became an alcoholic myself. (Gratefully sober now)!

Please consider finding a support group such as Al-Anon. Discovering that you aren't alone and finding others to help you through the emotions is important. As painful as it was, I came to accept that I might lose him (almost did - the doctors were amazed he made it). Even that wasn't enough for him at the time to change himself!

Now, over a year later, my son finally decided for himself that he wants to be clean and sober. He has 4 months now, and at the end of this month he will be turning himself in on open warrants. He accepts that he will be in jail for some time due to the choices he made. I believe this only happened because all of the family, and especially me, let him go completely. He never lost our love, but we refused to give him a place to live or money, and wouldn't remain on the phone when he was ranting, complaining or whining.

We are powerless to change anyone except ourselves.