View Single Post
 
Old Dec 14, 2015, 01:36 PM
JustShakey's Avatar
JustShakey JustShakey is offline
WON'T!!!
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,576
Quote:
Originally Posted by QuietMind View Post
Sigh ... Why does do much self help and peer support talk about forgiveness as a must?

Right now I can't even express anger at my hurts because I feel I'm horrible for finding the idea of forgiving awful.

Forgiveness is not the same as forgetting or giving the person another chance. It's more about letting go and it's not really about the other party, it's about you. Carrying all that anger around hidden inside is not good for you. Or for those around you for that matter. The only way to forgive is to talk about it. Otherwise you are just forgetting, or attempting to forget, and that's not good for anyone.

The stbx is angry at me because he says I won't forgive him. What is actually happening is that I refuse to forget and give him another chance. Forgiveness is not possible either, because he can't or won't let go and the situation is such that I can't cut him out of my life altogether. He continues with the behavior that led is to where we are.

What I'm trying to say is that I'm learning that forgiveness is about letting the past go, not being bothered by it yourself. It is not for anyone else but you. It's okay to be angry. That is your anger, and it is part of the journey to the peace that is forgiveness.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
'...
At poor peace I sing
To you strangers (though song
Is a burning and crested act,
The fire of birds in
The world's turning wood,
For my sawn, splay sounds,)
...'
Dylan Thomas, Author's Prologue
Hugs from:
unaluna