I'm grateful that one of the step kids is here and so far it has been stress free and we put up the tree. I have high level of anxiety around the holidays when we see the step child that hurt me three years ago. So far this visit things are going okay because he isn't here but despite all the past trauma and how being around the one son triggers me, I am truly grateful for all four of my adult step children. Each of them has a special place in my heart and I remind myself of that when anxiety gets too high.