I can't believe we tried so hard pretending to be singular, that to think about it today just wears me out. Some are more natural about it, but for some of us, it was exhaustingly miserable....especially for the likes of me being trapped in an opposite sex body.

It felt like denying ones own existence out of fear of retribution from both internal and external forces. The stress was phenomenal, but here we are in uncharted territory with ourselves being outwardly exposed finally, feeling free at last to express "me". I like how this feels.

At times I remember intense feelings of despair and disconnect, hoping that I pass as the body image. I've gotten a lot of weird looks from people and sharp words from the inner others about falling out of character and drawing negative attention to ourselves. Nothing like having everyone breathing down your back micro managing your every move. No wonder I drank. No wonder why we all drank.

It's safe to say that I and the others are burned out on pretending, and we're not doing it 24/7 anymore. Of course there are times where it is necessary, but for the most part....we are done!