Hi doodlefrog,

It sounds like you have been through a lot of bad things and have done well to come out on top. It seems as though you've got a lot of things working really well and that you're making progress - and that's fantastic.

To me after suffering for many years, a lot of the benefit was in feeling that progress was being made and that supposed 'normal things' were becoming easy. A lot of the biggest issues with depression relate to grouping problems and seeing a whole picture, rather than being able to take an eye off one set of problems and move to each set once at a time, and tackle them individually. For me it was at first about setting small targets, which became habit and then felt easier and 'less heavy'.

What I discovered was that whenever I would think too much about something, I would decide to carry out the action related to that item - this meant I got a lot of things done and did not overthink. I moved from worrying about things to saying to myself "I'll do this and worry later if it isn't right". I found it was about giving myself the room to be wrong and not worrying about something wrong happening, I would do my best and that was all that mattered - I could never please everyone so couldn't try to.

What you describe with irritability, sounds like frustration. For me that frustration came from inside and being very self-critical and not being able to execute and express how I felt. There were misunderstandings, traumas and real feelings of injustice. Eventhough these examples no longer exist, I still get angry quickly.. I think this is caused by the past, where pent up frustration was never addressed and where now I can express myself (it's like my brain overcompensating).