Before you check in with her check in with you: are you sending her a message expecting a response? Would that make you feel better, more loved, important to her? If that is what you are after or "testing" with her: better not to send the message. Your chances of getting hurt or disappointed are high. If you do it will make you feel worse and is doubtful if your message makes her feel better. Depression has a way of shutting down the ability to process positive feelings coming from others.....at least this is what I learnt with my partner during his depression. Of course, it also helps to know someone cares but I have found that really caring about them getting better and caring about me feeling better with a depressed partner is a big difference. The former is a lot easier when you are emotionally more detached (hard to do when you love someone) and I am still mistaking the latter for the former today....I am not saying any of this is necessarily true for you. I an just giving some food for thought to sort through your conflicting feelings.