Quote:
Originally Posted by amandalouise
short version you will never forget your first one and will never lose that attraction to the first one, simply because he was your first one..
this is just how the brain works. usually the first of anything in life makes a huge impact and strong memories, strong emotions on a person. therefore the brain is primed to remember the "firsts" in life. even something like a childs first tooth, ask any parent if they remember their childs first tooth and the answer is yes. ask any girl if they remember their first period, their first boyfriend, their first date, their first anything and they will usually remember. just because of the emotions and memories tied to their firsts.
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I've never posted in this section of the forums, but I've just got to speak up on this. I will agree that the majority of people will remember their first time in this matter. But to never lose the attraction? No. About my first guy, I have zero sentimentality let alone attraction.
To the entire next paragraph, again, no. Not a single one. I do appreciate the use of the word "usually" a couple times in there (not being sarcastic--it is appreciated). I believe everyone is wired individually, with no aspect being a given. It brings to mind things one hears all the time, such as variations of "every girl dreams of their wedding day" or that one should love their mother because it is their mother. I think there are a whole lot of these assumptions/traits/expectations what-have-you, especially regarding females. Personally, my idea of hell is women in a gaggle talking "women's things". I've literally crawled under tables to get away from it. Or that we just can't resist babies. You get the idea. These things may not be unusual, but I (and anyone else who can relate to what I'm saying) am still normal even in fulfilling
none of them.
Including my belief that "firsts" are so powerful as all that. That's more likely to be a function of one's level of sentimentality, but it's not a hard wired given.
But this is not about me. It is simply to point out that everyone is different. No one is hard wired to remembering or feeling ANY way about anything.
I agree with the rest. You'll move on and feel the feelings you feel along the way in your own time, rouge198. Don't rush it or hide away. Don't worry, things will unfold in due time,
your time. You say you wish for the feelings to go away. They will. Break ups can be very painful and when it is, that pain is just part of the process. It's ok, even though it sucks.
One of the words that really jumps out is "impossible". Don't worry, it's not impossible. You just don't feel it
now. But who knows what the future holds? You may marvel some day that you ever even thought that(!)
Also, it may well be that you are just very monogamously oriented. It is that way for me. I am turned on 100% by my BF of 6 years. I never ever think of anyone else in that regard. But before him, it was 25 years with my ex. And before that... You get the picture. The relationship AND the physical. I need both. And that only belongs to one person at a time. Some random person? Zero interest. It's not really a matter of the number of people one has been with, it's a function of each person's individual wiring. So I get what you are saying in finding it impossible to imagine feeling for someone else. But who knows what the future holds? Maybe you just can't imagine it simply because you haven't yet met someone who inspires you in that way. You may well find yourself
very pleasantly surprised in that department.
Good luck in all of it! You just be you.
