I wouldn't give someone any answers, either, in such a situation. The way I would see it is that they either understand and are feigning ignorance, or they are incapable of understanding if they don't by that point, so either way it would be a waste of my time and energy to try to explain anything.

IME often in the beginning, people are more than happy to enjoy whatever it is I have to offer them, it becomes increasingly one-sided and eventually they become expectant, almost entitled to it, without ever reciprocating anything. Even though they may have grown attached due to enjoying whatever it was I offered them, I never grew attached because I never had any fulfilling experiences throughout the whole thing. So then it's like I've got this entitled, needy person demanding from me, and of course the ONLY reason they ever get upset is when I don't give them something they want. Now at that point I could try to "fix" things, explain to them that I think they're being really self-absorbed and entitled, but the after-feelings in a case like that are just ... icky. Like oh okay, now this person will pretend to be mutually empathetic, just because I called them out. At that point, both sides are just faking a friendship and it feels gross.

I had an online friend for several years, that I met through online gaming. The bulk of our conversations were about his life, his problems, his feelings, his other relationships, etc. Whenever I would try to talk about anything me-related, he'd just be like "ah cool" and that was it. He wanted to get the conversation back to me being his therapist, or if he didn't need such services at the time, then he was too busy with something else to talk with me. I never complained or anything, I just gradually lost interest over time. Initially I did grow a bit fond of him, as a person, but the whole thing became exhausting and draining after a while. At some point I just quit logging on where we would chat anymore, I quit wanting to and quit doing so.

It's a case where I can understand that the ways in which I try to bond with people, well those ways are dysfunctional. I just try to provide what people want in the hopes that they will value me and thus treat me with genuine respect, empathy and interest. But what I get more often than not for being a reserved pleaser type, is just self-absorbed people who are happy to suck my energy dry and then get pissy when I start to get too tired or overwhelmed with it. So I think in the end often it's a case of two dysfunctional people going their separate ways.

But something to think about, if your lost-friend really does sound like me. Maybe she was a covert narcissist, definitely possible. But was she getting anything genuine and fulfilling out of the relationship, herself? Or was it a more one-sided case, where one day she just quit spending her energy on you, and then the whole relationship fell apart when she stopped putting in the effort?