I just can't catch a break. I made it through a busy, 10.5 hour shift, no weed, no one to talk to but you guys. I even did the thing I didn't want to, wrote out and stapled to orders these stupid gift cards that our customers are supposed to give their friends, and of course are always mad they can't use themselves. I did all I could though I felt like I was about to fall apart all day.
My boyfriend gave me today off, and even made me open my Christmas present early, a new TV, so I could watch TV in bed today because he knows my back is hurting. But every time something good like that happens lately, it evaporates the next day. Sure enough it's not even 9am and he's already pissed at me for something I did yesterday.
A customer brought in these armchair arm covers, made of a special material I've never see and that can't be dry cleaned. So first I called the plant manager and asked if we could clean this specific material. He said he'd need to see them. Since I wasn't sure we were going to clean them, or how much we would charge the customer, because shockingly, arm-covers are not in our system, I sent them to the plant without invoicing them. I sent them in a bag, tied to a hanger, with a note ATTN: Manager. I put notes inside the bag with all the relevant information, and that I need a price if we do clean them.
My boyfriend says we'll never see them again because I didn't invoice them. I'm sorry but though they do **** up, I just can't believe that our plant operators are stupid enough to see a bag addressed to the manager, rip it open, go, "Oh hey, there's paper in here too. Well, that can't be important," and then throw it in a pile and throw out the notes.
And now that he says it, yeah, I can see maybe it wasn't the best idea. But it wasn't laziness that made me do it, as he's now saying. It just made sense to me. And it was a busy day, I had a lot on my mind, and was already feeling overwhelmed.
But it doesn't matter, now he's mad again, I ****ed up again, and it doesn't matter that I did everything else right, or how hard the day was for me.

I feel like I shouldn't be happy when good things happen or he's nice anymore. It just gets taken away anyway and then I feel even worse because I thought things were finally looking up. And today, my only day off until Sunday I'm sure, was supposed to be relaxing, a break from the work stress that's compounding my depression. But nope, all those bad feelings followed me home now, and I can't tell my boyfriend how I feel because again, it's my fault and I have no one to blame, and I have no right to feel bad or complain when he's working and I'm not.
I just want to give up. What's the point? I can't stop making these mistakes, and it keeps getting blamed on laziness, which both pisses me off and hurts me so much that I can't refute it without either shouting or dissolving into tears.