Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
Sorry you pretty much lost your sister [emoji20]it is tough
First of all I would cut alcohol out of your life. It seems that excessive drinking to the point of blacking out [emoji33][emoji33][emoji33]causes much harm to you and your family. ( even if drinking is just on holidays).
Second of all was your apology sincere? I am kind of with Rose on this about you criticizing/disliking your sister so heavily ( not when drunk but now). Why diagnosis? Was she diagnosed?
Do you have other siblings? I only have one brother and he isn't perfect at all, but it would break my heart to lose him
Honestly what I would do is forgo cards but travel to her and beg for forgiveness ( sincerely) and make all kind of amends and wouldn't touch alcohol again. That's what I would do if I messed up. Or other option is of your sister is truly that horrid the way you described her then cut the ties. My t says that it's ok to cut toxic relatives out
This thread kind of triggered me a bit as I imagine losing my brother. It would be horrid
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Thank you! I no longer drink, it definitely was a very unhealthy way of coping I relied on much too heavily. I quit drinking regularly after that incident with my sister. Drinking did not seem worth it after that, and still doesn't. My partner is a recovering alcoholic so that gives me even more incentive to drink rarely, if ever.
My apology was sincere. I don't know if she thinks it was, but it was on my part. It's hard to say if my sister is as horrid as I say because I didn't really give all that much information on her... I guess that she is, because the stories I could tell - like how she expected her live-in boyfriend to go to starbucks every morning (for years) and get her drip coffee even though he worked and she did not, because she does not like coffee from a home coffee maker; or how he hung up all her clothes that she had thrown on the floor and in clothes baskets, because she said it made her too anxious to deal with it, and then rather than appreciate it had yelled at him to the point I had to leave her home, because he had done it "wrong" although had been given no direction - are way worse than anything I said in the original post. I don't think she's a bad person, I think she is in desperate need of help that she's never gotten.
She briefly saw a therapist but I don't know what she was diagnosed with. The therapist was either very manipulated, confused, or incompetent, or my sister misunderstood what the therapist said, because she came out of it believing even more than before that there is nothing wrong with her and everyone else had the problems. I think that I say I think she has a PD or NPD because it's a way of conveying the way she behaves in a relatable way without having to be lengthy or go into depth about the sort of things she does.
I did briefly, maybe 6 months after the falling out, consider driving the 14 hours to where she lived at the time and trying to make ammends. I decided that even such an extreme gesture would not make a difference. Maybe I should just keep her "cut out" but I do love her, regardless of how it came off in my posts.