I am a bit surprised you are that concerned that her BF buys her coffees or hangs her clothes. It's between two of them. Why is it a concern at all?. I could see if there was abuse of a child but if a grown BF wants to do certain things or puts up with things it's there private business. The main ( or only) grievances you have with her is his she treats her BF. Is this really worth losing a relationship with your sister.

She might need help but there is nothing you can do. We can only help ourselves. I really don't think your apology was sincere as you keep saying how everything is so wrong with her! The whole sibling relationship failed because you criticized their relationship with BF and you still do it ( even on here) even though it's been so long you've seen or talked to her.

I wonder what your t says on this. I'd definitely discuss it in therapy

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