This is called CODEPENDENCY. He is the sicker one it seems although, you too could use some help in the self esteem department and the I-don't-need-to-be-in-a-relationship-to-be-okay department as well, however the fact that you see that there is clearly a problem and that you are bothered by it is a HUGE step in the right direction. What this man is doing to you is what some people would refer to as Emotional Blackmail. He holds your emotions hostage,,,his feelings are the only ones that really matter and to hell be damned with yours and if you try to make him alter his behavior or accept any blame or guilt for your hurt then he will take his proverbial ball and go the hell back to where ever he came from...that is emotional blackmail and he has gotten away with it because you have allowed him to up to this point. The GOOD NEWS is that you have the absolute RIGHT to redraw your boundary lines at any time you choose and if he doesn't like it he can take that ball and go the hell home as they say. And it will hurt for awhile but you will do what everyone does and move on. If you are smart you will find a Codependency support group so you don't make the same mistakes over and over in relationships in the future...I recommend Al-Anon (for family and friends of alcoholics and we all know and alcoholic so anyone can go to al-anon). Best place in the world to learn how to deal with people who want to treat us like you are being treated...