When I turned 30, I was making $15 an hour, working part time because I couldn't find full time work. And I have 3 degrees, one bachelors and two masters (kind of changed courses after the second one). I was living with a bf who was paying 90 percent of our bills and rent. No kids. My dad was paying for my health insurance.

Look the economy is cracked the world over, work is sparse, and you're part of an entire global generation of well-educated people who are unable to find work or unable to find work that requires a degree. When you were born, all you had to do was go to college and the world was your oyster. That's not reality anymore. There's a lot of competition and not enough work.

You pay rent and other things, you do as much as you can. I'm sure your mother can appreciate that. I can think of a lot more horrible things than your financial dependence-- You could be stealing your mother's things and pawn them for cash so you can do drugs. You could be in jail for murder.

The best thing is, you WANT to do more. You're not sitting around and sleeping all day. You're trying to make something of yourself. Hang in there. It will get easier. Find a job you can stick with. Muscle through some of the bs so you can have several years at one job. It may not be fun, but at least you'll feel more accomplished (which is really the thing that you seem to want). Beating yourself up is only making you suffer emotionally. Stop judging yourself. Be active, look for work, definitely get help for the OCD (that makes everything harder).

If you're interested, I'm married now. I have the job I always wanted and it's a perfect combination of my two disciplines. I live in a new city and it's way more affordable for me. I'm not dependent on anyone else anymore.