Quote:
Originally Posted by starfruit504
Wow, what a whacky thing to tell you. Maybe he's not paying you for nothing...he's paying to position you in a place that he's more comfortable with. The decision was definitely made to benefit him in some way.
The narcissist boss who sleeps with employees, boy am I familiar with that. I didn't see here who broke up with whom. Was it totally mutual? Was there a new love interest? Because there's the possibility that he just doesn't want to face you. The narc in my life would pay ANYTHING not to have his face rubbed in "failure." He has the money and power, so he doesn't have to be in uncomfortable situations like that. When his ex-wife joined facebook, he blocked FB from all the work computers because he felt like that would keep all his employees from friending her and seeing her posts because she was apparently happy ... he didn't want us to think she was happy without him.
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Hi starfruit504,
I ended the relationship side of things but was still an employee and seeing him daily. He had only two scripts that he starred in. The first script he would do an act in front of certain other people, in front of me, where he would imply that we were still in a relationship to them. I observed that he would do this 'act' when it was in front of people he wanted to impress and he would display the 'caring partner act'. These people were other couples who had good marriages or partnerships.
The second script got switched on after I ended it. When there was just he and myself together in the same area and there was another 3rd party around without a partner. He would attempt to impress her and I was cast into the role of witnessing how this 3rd party was reacting. And he got to observe my reactions.
My reactions were zero. I found myself wondering what I was doing there. I realised I was witnessing how the relationship between he and his mother played out over and over again from when he was a child and she was the younger woman. He was re-enacting his childhood relationship with her and I'd been given the glorious part of playing younger Mummy and Wife. I realised the second script was scripted when his Mother remarried when he was a teenager and that he used this script in front of her by bringing 3rd parties home to meet her and she got to witness it and he could watch her reactions, which was to divorce her second husband and devote her life to him.
So I think you are righty right on in saying the sense of failure in front of others and his reputation is of the utmost importance. On the one hand there is the teenage playboy and on the other hand there is the devoted partner who is telling himself he is still in control of me because he is paying for the food on my table until the end of January! I actually demanded to be dismissed without pay on the day I quit and was wanting to break the work contract because the situation on a personal and professional level sure did not work for me.
Thanks for your reply. Mine is all over the place :-)
I think I'm actually more puzzled by my own behaviour in the sense that I've been all over the place in my own mind realising that for me, a person could have all the money in the world to buy anything they want in order to prove to themselves and the world that they're not a failure but it's worthless to me. I want healthy, healing love.