Ellahmae, it wasn't until after my dad died that I could draw the line and stay away from my mother. It took YEARS of effort in trying to draw safe boundaries and failing, and hankster periodically 'yelling' at me that I just needed to get the **** away from her. If she could stay away from her mother and live through it, so could I. So now I see my mother extremely rarely and generally only when forced to in order to pick up my niece or something. It sucks and people give you fifty million kinds of grief, but it can be done. It is a HUGE relief once you have done it, though.