I'm more afraid that I'm having them when I've never had them during depressions than I am about what is happening. I don't like signs that things are worsening. It really is just another sign my AP isn't working probably but I don't want to deal with any more psychosis or anything that makes things harder. I keep wondering if this is happening when I'm depressed what will happen next time I get really mixed (which is typical for me; this is my first time diagnosed with bipolar depression in 13 years). I have thought I might be slightly mixed the last few days but my therapist showed me that the depression is very strong still just yesterday.

This year has been very different than my other years of bipolar and that is disturbing. Hopefully it is just that my AP isn't working and a new one will fix everything.