100% yes. It's like, whenever you try to take a step to improve, your anxiety/depression is telling you "But, you're comfortable the way things are now, so why change?" It sucks, really, so I'm with you, completely. I think it is relatively normal if you've had these issues for awhile to be scared of recovery. I am every single day. And you feel that utter "stuck-ness" (lol, fantastic word choice on my part) which permeates every part of your life. The thing that helps me is to say, "Wait, this ISN'T normal. I have got to push back against this because better days are ahead!" Also, I don't know if this is the case with you, but there was a time before I had to deal with these "mental illnesses" and so I use that as motivation to improve. I say, keep pushing just to see what happens on the other side. Hope that helps and feel free to message me if you want to.