Quote:
Originally Posted by marmaduke
I spent a life time forgiving abusers, blaming myself. Suffering toxic shame and guilt.
No more.
It's not helpful to forgive abusers & make endless excuses.
Two brothers both abused. One goes on to have a family determined never to abuse his own children.
His brother however abuses his children in apaulling ways carrying on the abuse through another generation. Why?
Why the difference?
The difference between the brothers is genes.
One brother is 'normal' he has empathy. He feels for his kids, loves them.
The other brother has inherited the narcissistic traits/genes he has no empathy. His kids are mere objects for him to treat as he pleases.
How far do you take excuses? Do you forgive Hitler? Was it his fault, could he help himself?
We he all bad?
Even Hitler loved his dog.
Somethings cannot be forgiven.
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I agree, now I am going through the stage of him calling everyday and at first he is nice but it is changing quickly. The main reason I have taken the calls is to keep the rage at bay until I figure everything out. Right now I am a sitting duck with no one around to help me. I at least know what he is doing and when he is home at his parents house.....I can sleep a little better at night. He is an hour away from me so that is good but I have no idea what is coming next.