I need some advice..... I am about to start therapy in January for a rape that happened when I was 15 (I'm 27 now) and I have pushed this down for over a decade and it is now starting to resurface over the last year. I've always has nightmares so in a sense I haven't completely pushed it down like I thought I had, my pdoc told me at my visit last week that I have a dissociative disorder as a result of this, and in all honestly I am scared to death to revisit what happened. My husband will be going with me and he has no idea how "dark" I am inside and I don't know how to prepare him for what he will be hearing, I just don't know what to expect of myself when I start talking, if I talk on the first visit. When I was 15,16, and 17 I had blackouts because of the rape, (oh how I hate using that word) and I am afraid that might happen again and it can't because I have two young children to look after and I am just a mess over this.