Yesterday I had my session and for those of you who remember, my therapist had refused to answer one of my emails despite the fact I was struggling.
She ended up saying that a lack a response didn't mean a lack of empathy.

So yesterday I showed up and she immediately brought up this exchange of emails we had had. She said she had thought about it and that she had decided that she would no longer respond to any of my emails because it was creating a dependency and the image of a perfect relationship where all my needs are met. But she said that relationship doesn't exist and I have to realize it and grieve it.
She wants to teach me to still feel the connection even if she doesn't respond to my emails (she'll only answer in session).

I was so stunned and angry, I shut down and didn't say anything for the whole session while she tried to get me to talk.

Sending an email and not receving any response makes me feel more alone when I'm struggling, it's like I'm sending it into the void.

I suppose it's a new boundary she's establishing but after more than a year and a half, it's hard to adjust to this new boundary.

I was so furious that I sent her an email saying I hated her and that I hoped she wouldn't enjoy her holidays. Childish I know but I'm so hurt I couldn't help it.

Any thoughts appreciated.