Quote:
Originally Posted by rouge198
Thank you for your comment, I really appreciate it. I haven't spoke to him in a few months. After he disclosed that he'd been with someone else, it changed how I saw him and I couldn't talk to him without thinking of that. I don't think we'll ever speak again. I'm glad he told me but it ruined my view of him and really tainted every memory of our relationship. I'm not sure he could have ever loved me if he did something like that right after me.
I think I'm going to be very slow to get to know someone else because I don't generally trust people and I have unfortunately met more people who mislead than not. I dont like that in getting to know someone I have to just trust that they'll tell me the truth. There's too much that I can't know. Like women dating my ex can't know all the things he did to me and I had no idea those same things were done to his other exes, until I researched myself. I don't want to have to research anyone else but unfortunately most people will have a more extensive dating and sexual history than me, so I'll end up either just staying single or doing that research when I start dating.
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I think going slowly is good, in general. We all put our best face forward when meeting a potential romantic partner so we have to get to know the person they are underneath, and vice versa. Moving too fast causes many, many problems.
This statement concerns me:
"I'm not sure he could have ever loved me if he did something like that right after me."
I wonder why you think that? Have you been in therapy before? I think therapy could help you process some of this in safe environment. I'm not sure what happened that required research but that might also be something that it would be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor about. Even though most people will have a more extensive dating or sexual history than you do, that doesn't have to be a negative or a drawback. If you talk about what happened with your ex to someone, you may find that some of this stuff was not the norm? At this point you have no one else to compare it to. I don't think you mentioned how old you are, but it seems premature to resign yourself to staying single at this point.
