I'm an addict and I love it.
I'm addicted to my highs. I'm addicted to feeling so vital.
I admire myself and embrace my exuberance.
I knew it's impossible to remain in a certain state forever, and yet I fell for the illusion.
I'm in love with myself when I'm happy. I'm radiant and it shows.

So why bother posting?
Because it is now, when I'm "calm" because my body is so exhausted of me going on and on (I even had fever yesterday). Now I realize that as good as it feels ~ I miss the destructive side-effects that may be caused in this process.
Being told I'm on drugs is funny until it isn't.
Driving 165 km/h feeling awesome is fun until something goes wrong and breaks.
Singing & Bubbling non-stop everywhere I go is joyful until it isn't, because not everyone (especially at workplaces) can stand it for long-periods and eventually people bug me for being bugged by me
New hobbies are productive until it gets expensive.
Feeling brilliant with aspiring ideas is ingenious until you can't track them, or they are not clear for anyone but you, and when you slow down ~ you can't make sense of your own ideas anymore either.

It is now when I'm exhausted I can understand it and speak of this that way, but as soon as I skyrocket up; I can't help it, I love it.

Can't give up on feeling that good. I never felt that way in my whole life, I never felt I'm able to do so much stuff, I never could be so spontaneous and book a flight 1.5 weeks before the date, I'd never be so productive in my research works.

I'm an addict.