my first reaction when I started reading this thread was wow what a complicated situation, then I saw you were located in Pennsylvania (which is commonly known as Amish cultures) then I reread this thread with that in mind and the situation wasnt so shocking to me. in the Amish culture this is how things are, the men are in control and the women must do what the men say. even in America the Amish culture is not considered abuse. that said I do know some Amish people who have decided the Amish way is not for them and have gotten help to leave that culture behind once they have experienced life outside that culture in some way. If you happen to be Amish just wanted to let you know you are not alone and that Im glad you are getting the help you may need.