I have both social anxiety and narcissistic traits. The narcissistic traits are just part of my DNA from growing up around a lot of it. It's helped me to have become more aware of it (when I was younger I tried to deny it in an effort to differentiate myself from family members) so that it's not operating as a wild card.

But would I define myself as a covert narcissist? There's a quiz here that I tried: Are You an Undercover Narcissist? -- Science of Us and I got the result "kind of a covert narcissist" and "kind of self-centered" which was not an entirely unsurprising result knowing my traits. However, I don't really think that it's accurate to suggest that it's covert for me at this point.

While it's not audaciously on the surface, or happening in extreme ways, I'm also not denying it; hence there's no covert action involved. I'm sort of oddly honest about it, these days, about when and how I'm being narcissistic, which I find freeing both for myself and for those whom I share that sort of thing with. Talking about it here also helped: realizing ways in which I was still demonizing some the traits because of my experiences with family enabled me to stop demonizing the traits within myself as well, which was a nice surprise. Getting out of conflict with myself.

I guess I'm saying, if you can find ways to better enjoy some aspects of narcissism, they don't have to be covert, and it does sound like there are some unexpressed feelings involved for you.. like towards the guy too lazy to tear open a sugar packet. Narcissism can come in quite handy in situations like that. Instead of being irritated by people to the possible detriment of your composure and equilibrium, you could enjoy feeling superior to and amused by them. That's what I mostly do. Smile through my teeth and think, "wow, you really are just that much of a jerk. god bless you, you poor, oblivious sod." Gets me through the day.