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Originally Posted by BayBrony
I'm so sorry. Unfortunately where our Is differ is that when my T screwed up regarding boundaries she said " wow. I really screwed up and really hurt you and I'm very very sorry". She didn't change the boundary back but she made it clear that nothing similar would happen again. If we came upon a similar situation we would address it slowly and make transitions in stages.
Your t just won't admit she made a mistake and I still wish I could smack her in the face and make her see how she is blaming YOU for HER mistake. I would be in the sane situation as you if my T hadn't been willing to say "I really screwed up and I'm sorry and this won't happen again"( for background my T was texting me every night for about six months . this was the first time in my life that some one who wasn't sleeping with me cared enough to say things like "good night and sweet dreams". She abruptly decided that she needed to put her phone down in the evening as she has a big family and felt over stretched. Turns out she didn't realize how important it was to me so she just laid the law down cold turkey. It caused a gigantic rupture that we were able to work through only because my T tool full responsibility for the whole thing)
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Yikes. I would have been incredibly hurt by the halt to texts after getting one every night for 6 months! Wow! I can understand where she is coming from, but at the same time....perhaps she could have talked to you about it first, then, if you felt it would be helpful, maybe gradually cut back, not all at once. It really surprises me how some Ts just don't realize how these little things can mean the world to someone!
I have posted about this fairly recently (I think in someone else's thread, not my own), and my T has recently apologized actually. She said she learned a hard lesson and she's very sorry it hurt me as badly as it did. But, it took her like 8 months to say that. She had been saying "I'm sorry you feel that way," but she didn't actually own up to what she did until recently. She promised me that it would never happen again, with anyone. I had hoped I could move on after that, I mean, finally, it was recognized that it wasn't just MY problem. She had a role in it too. It is hard to remember how she used to be. I push those aside, because it's too hurtful to remember. I need to accept her for who she is now, or move on.
BTW, I thought of you this week, Bay. I had to put two of my horses to sleep, just over two weeks apart...with the last one being just on Monday. I had therapy that day....blubbering idiot I was. But she did something she's NEVER done before. The client after me canceled, she said, and she let me stay an extra hour. Not for a session, but just to hang out there and catch my breath while she did paperwork. I fell asleep on the couch. And felt much better when she woke me up. So even though she didn't DO or SAY anything....that was a big deal to me. And perfect timing for her to have had a cancellation. It sucks I'm still so attached. But maybe with the T I'm meeting next week, she can help me with that....