First of all, I am sorry to hear that you go through all of this.
But also, it was really refreshing for me to read your story.
You are a very good writer, and you seemed to write down a lot of what I'm going through as well.

I am also looking for a diagnosis because I am frustrated with not knowing whats going on in my own head.
I finally made an appointment to see a therapist, so I guess thats a start.
Though I too tend to cancel a lot of appointments because the responsibility of them makes me really anxious.

Do keep us updated on what you find out, and I hope you can find some answers.