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Old Dec 16, 2015, 10:25 PM
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BayBrony BayBrony is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Dec 2013
Location: usa
Posts: 1,847
Quote:
Originally Posted by musinglizzy View Post
Yikes. I would have been incredibly hurt by the halt to texts after getting one every night for 6 months! Wow! I can understand where she is coming from, but at the same time....perhaps she could have talked to you about it first, then, if you felt it would be helpful, maybe gradually cut back, not all at once. It really surprises me how some Ts just don't realize how these little things can mean the world to someone!

I have posted about this fairly recently (I think in someone else's thread, not my own), and my T has recently apologized actually. She said she learned a hard lesson and she's very sorry it hurt me as badly as it did. But, it took her like 8 months to say that. She had been saying "I'm sorry you feel that way," but she didn't actually own up to what she did until recently. She promised me that it would never happen again, with anyone. I had hoped I could move on after that, I mean, finally, it was recognized that it wasn't just MY problem. She had a role in it too. It is hard to remember how she used to be. I push those aside, because it's too hurtful to remember. I need to accept her for who she is now, or move on.

BTW, I thought of you this week, Bay. I had to put two of my horses to sleep, just over two weeks apart...with the last one being just on Monday. I had therapy that day....blubbering idiot I was. But she did something she's NEVER done before. The client after me canceled, she said, and she let me stay an extra hour. Not for a session, but just to hang out there and catch my breath while she did paperwork. I fell asleep on the couch. And felt much better when she woke me up. So even though she didn't DO or SAY anything....that was a big deal to me. And perfect timing for her to have had a cancellation. It sucks I'm still so attached. But maybe with the T I'm meeting next week, she can help me with that....
I'm so sorry about the horses..... That's difficult.

It ended up sounding worse to me than it was In reality. I took it as "no more Texts" but what it meant was " no more texts at night"...if I text her during working hours or text at night and ask for a reply in the morning I usually get a response. But I didn't know that because she didn't clarify it.

Unfortunately I just didn't text her at all for over a month so it took a long time just to clarify that.

For a long time she didn't even understand why I was so upset. She was like " I show you love all kinds of ways texts shouldn't be so important" it took s while to get her to understand that it wasn't the texting boundaey but the way she enforced it---cold turkey, no discussion, no concern for my safety or feelings--that upset me...
Hugs from:
precaryous
Thanks for this!
musinglizzy