I saw my psychiatrist today the only good news i got out of the session is i went from 174 lbs to 164 lbs from loss of appetite due to the topamax.i don't want to eat and be fat so that is a good thing. She says my depression is not improving cause ive tried to hurt myself several times since are last visit. she askes me if i want to hurt myself now i tell her no i lie.she ask if i am anxious i tell her yes she says about what?i say i don't know. she says what do you look forward to i say Christmas partly true .she says she wants to help me and even managed to tell her the meds make me sick but i could not tell her im beyond help at this point. Basically the appointment had no value to me except i lost weight

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