This is a very tough time of year. I think many of us "idealize" the holiday season and want it to be exactly as wondrous a season as it was when some of us were younger. That's why it can often seem like it exacerbates our depression if it doesn't live up to the ideas we have for it.

There was a time in 2013 where my "need" for a great Christmas carried me through a really grueling final project at school. Sadly, it never truly felt like one. I took a lot of it for granted. Since then, I've tried my best to immerse myself in those holiday activites and try not to put my mind on trivial stuff...but at times it just isn't the same as it was when I was younger.

Maybe it's one of those "growing up" things...I used to see it as something else when I was younger, and as I've been getting older I've started to like it for other reasons...for me, the joy of getting toys has long since been replaced with the need for greater connection with my family. Some years, I don't receive that as much...my family tends to argue more often around holidays, and only spending a couple hours with family just isn't enough.

And, yeah, I'm single, introverted and not working as much as I'd like in my mid-20's, so that tends to exacerbate things...oh well. I'm still optimistic that I'll be able to enjoy this time a little bit more in the future. But as I said before, this time of the year is really tough.