Welcome Ariah. Yes, it's a good thing that you feel safe in the hospital. That's what they are for... to keep us safe until we can make better plans for being safe on the outside. And to have a few tough years of this is normal for some to adjust.

I agree... you need a support system. Do you at least have a T (therapist) to talk with? A good T can help you to better handle the stress of day to day living... to where your suicidal tendencies won't be so strong...

Come back and post as much as you need to... this is a pretty good group here.