@ChavInAHat I totally know how you feel, and my break is only going to be a week without seeing my T. She said I could email or call her if I need to. My fear is that I don't want to bother her. Emailing is not as bad, but I still feel guilty because I worry that I am bugging her or being too needy. Calling would have to be if it was an absolute emergency.

The one thing I try to tell myself is that these are the boundaries she set for me. It is not my responsibility to manage her self-care. It is her responsibility. If she didn't want outside contact she would say not to contact her out of session. It's still hard. If I feel like I want to email, but I don't feel like I need a reply I'll put in the email that there is no need to reply. That might be helpful for you too.